My life...

Change...

2009-12-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

A lot of things seem to be changing in my life...Mostly for the good!

God is really revealing things to me that need to be changed in my life! I've been kind of overwhelmed with how many things He has been showing me but I guess its all about one thing..and one step at a time :) God is so mighty and has shown me so much grace...

My prayer is that this change continues through the rest of my life...and that I really embrass it!!

Hopeless...

2009-12-05T13:27:00.000-08:00

For the past few weeks I've been feeling really hopeless...I don't know what it is but I feel like everything I try or touch just ends up ruined... I hate feeling this way but I guess its a part of life and we all go through our ups and downs. I feel like I've been having more downs than ups recently...

It seems as though I tend to reach for things that are unobtainable..haha leave it to me to think I can accomplish, have, or even to just desire these unobtainable things!

I know I cannot do this alone...I know I cannot rest on myself but I have to rest and rely on God...and I know my God is a big God who wants me to desire big things..and wants me to strive for things that I myself will fail at but HE CAN accomplish...but its so hard for me (and I know I'm not alone on this) to trust that God WILL come through...

I have a problem and it seems to be on repeat...and I don't know where the stop button is so I can push it...

I have this sadness/anger inside of me that seems to always be hidden...and I cannot find the root of it to get it out...maybe its just ME that is the problem...maybe I just need to let go of ME and see what happens...but I'm terrified...because what will happen when I let go?

I just want to SCREAM!

Fallin' Completely (Original)

2009-12-04T23:27:00.000-08:00

This is a song I wrote just because I was in a really sappy lovey dovey mood...Someday this song will be for my husband but until then...all of you couples get to share it!!! Its a very simple/plan song but I really enjoy it!!!

The Whirl Wind...

2009-11-21T09:27:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I have written a blog post. Actually almost a year which is crazy!

There has been so much going on in my life since a year ago! God has been refining me, molding me, catching me, a pushing me in the right direction.

God has brought new friends in my life that have been such a huge blessing in my life. He has also taken away "friends" that I didn't need to have in my life. One thing I love about God is that He is always looking out for us (me)!

It's funny....When I think God isn't moving in my life...when I think He has just decided to give up on me...when I think He some how just forgot that I'm here waiting for Him...He shows up...not in the ways I necessarily want him to but in the ways I mostly need Him to!!! What a sovereign God I serve!

Now that I've started it off with that here is what is new in my life:

First I will tell you what's going on musically in my life...

I was recording with this guy that is married to one of the attorney's I work for. Well things were going great I was recording with him every Saturday for a few months and was getting major progress. All of a sudden he stopped answering my texts and calls...I was being really patient and understanding as his wife was pregnant at the time and he was working 50 hours a week...But I needed to get the project done...So I ended up talking to another guy that owns a recording studio his name is Joe and he is such a great guy! He loves the Lord...I was asking him about recording at his studio but it was going to cost more money than what I had and I just lost $500.00 to Chris. So I told Joe I would think about it...Well it seems as though God was at work...a friend of mine Jesse (who I was really only acquaintances with at that time) was running sound at my friend Josh and his band's concert...Jesse and I ended up hanging out and talking a little bit...we started talking more and I told him about my recording situation...He told me he had his own studio and I could come by and check it out sometime...I was super excited...So I went to the studio...I had so much fun and felt very comfortable with Jesse and he seemed excited to work with me...So now I've been working with Jesse once a week since September...We've been going over my songs and refining them to get them exactly how we imagine them to be. He is a musician/song writer as well so its awesome to get his creativity as well as mine....Jesse is a very intellectual thinker and I'm a very simple thinker which makes things incredibly amazing because we have two totally different perspectives on song writing and sounds...so when we collaborate together it ends up coming out pretty awesome...It's really awesome working with someone that believes in the music that God has put in you...to have them encourage you and push you because they know that God has given you this gift that needs to be heard...I may not always believe in myself...or God for that matter...but God always seems to put people in your life that push you just the way that you need to be pushed! I'm so grateful for the ways that God has provided for me musically...it may not be the way that I had imagined or hoped for but...it always ends up better in the long run!!

Second here is what's going on work wise....

Well it's been a little crazy with work just in this last week...A lot has gone on just with people having to leave and others of us picking up the slack...I've been given a pretty awesome opportunity to learn new things at work while we are looking for people to fill positions that have been left to fill...God is opening the door for me and I'm taking a leap through hoping and praying that this works out...I'm not sure if this is just an opportunity for now or if it will be a promotion for me (I'm really praying for the promotion)...but we will see what happens...I'm really having to rely on God daily to be my strength and to get me through the day...With learning so many new things..and having to really step it up..its draining at times...but SOOOOOOOO exciting!

Third I'm just really excited about everything in my life...so many changes and so many things just to look forward to! I'm really finding contentment in where God has me...there are a lot of things that are just up in the air and I'm really okay with that...its crazy to finally be at a place of peace, hope, trust, and just where I can breath knowing that God is my every breath!

So thats pretty much the gist of what is going on my life as of lately!

Goodbyes...

2008-12-02T16:31:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving night my friend Katie's dad (David) went to be with Jesus.

He had been struggling with bone cancer for the last 4 months...I went to the viewing tonight...It was hard to see him laying there..You could tell they painted his hands because he had been so yellow...and his lips wouldn't stop bleeding you could tell that they patched them up...

Katie and her family were very well kept together...

I was just talking to my roommate Carolyn telling her how I wouldn't be able to keep together like they did if my father would have passed away...

I thank God that David knew Him and is now at peace, out of pain, and having a great time with our Father in Heaven.

Please be praying for my friend Katie in this fragile time of loss!

Thank you I know they appreciate it much more than yall know! (I do as well)

I love you Daddy and Mommy!

Wedding...

2008-12-02T16:13:00.001-08:00

My friends Josh Bramos and Mackenzie Gordon (obviously now Bramos haha) got married this last weekend...

The Cake :D

The gorgeous happy couple

Me with the Bride and Groom

Me in my dress

The Foyer again....

2008-11-17T17:00:00.000-08:00

Here are a few pics of me playing at "The Foyer" (all photos by my friend Amy Horn...she is INCREDIBLE at photography)

Beauty...

2008-11-06T14:09:00.000-08:00

Today was a perfect day to plant flowers with mom...It smelled like spring time and the breeze was blowing so gently it was incredible!

Dad sent me a message saying he hung Christmas lights...I wish I was there to help...that's always our thing that we do together!

I miss you!

I really miss home and family...

Christmas is coming soon and I'll be able to be home for 10 days...Mom's yummy cooking...Dad's cuddle time....Todd's joking and picking on me...Laura's encouragement and lovely talks...and finally being able to hold my niece and tell her I love her....

I miss all of you so much please know that! I love you!

Pictures of the house

2008-11-03T17:44:00.000-08:00

Well my parents couldn't watch the video sooo here are some pictures of the house :D

THE INSIDE OF THE HOUSE:

My red wall (with orange fun on it haha)

Close up

My block wall

Snoopy the dog :D

Bathroom

Family Room

Dinning room

Kitchen

Garage

TV room

Den

THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE:

THE BACKYARD:

Adventures....

2008-10-29T13:56:00.000-07:00

Uhhh...well my friend Dominique, Rob, and I went on an adventure last night...it was very random and very spur of the moment...but it was fun and had meaning :D

So here are some pictures of what we did....

This is something that I have been thinking about for a while...I wanted to get something that showed how much I have grown this year just in coming to school...finishing school...moving down here on my own and doing what God is calling me to do...I got it on my foot because HE is my hands and feet...HE is carrying me wherever I go and I want to remind myself of that! So whenever I look down I'll remember how much I grew in 2007 - 2008 and that HE is always my hands and feet!!! (Sorry mom and dad if this makes you upset that I got another tattoo with out talking to you about it...but hopefully the explanation of it explains why I got it)

Rob got his ear gaged up one more size to a 6 gage!

Dom got her nose pierced and her ear pierced but I didn't send the ear one to my email...so you just get the nose piercing one!!!

Email....

2008-10-22T19:27:00.000-07:00

I received this email a couple days ago....

Doug,

My name is Steven Schultheis, I work for Youth for Christ Ministries of Sacramento. While at Youth Specialties' National Youth Worker's Convention in Sacramento, I passed by y'all's booth in the exhibit hall and was given the Contrary Motion CD.

Let me sidestep that storyline and introduce another. My role with Youth for Christ involves media (video, web and print design). A couple days before the Convention, one of our staff approached me to create a video project for his fundraiser dinner. By choice, we almost exclusively use stock music (such as Music Bakery or Digital Juice or Quicktracks) as background music. It's a lot cleaner than having to find out copyright owner and ask permission. It's also often easier to find music that fits the length I need, with enough space to put interviews without the interviews and song lyrics stepping on each other.

Long story shorter, the song 'Identity' sung by Drew Eales and Kym France grabbed my attention. As I listen to the lyrics, I hear that it's talking about ultimately finding our identity, our belonging, our purpose, in God. As I listen to the rest of the song, I start seeing the video project in my head. There are places for teen interviews and places for shots of what happens around the teen center. The song itself is 'mild' enough for the donor base who will be at the dinner yet 'hard and fast' enough that it also represents the teens in it.

And so I ask for y'all's permission to use the song in our video project. The video will be one part of a fundraiser dinner for Youth for Christ, a non-profit organization, to help raise awareness of and money for one of our community Teen Centers. It will not be sold or distributed. I will key the song title, artists and CD name in the corner of the screen during the middle of the video.

Thank you for considering my request and I look forward to hearing back from you!

Steven Schultheis

Needless to say Drew and I both agreed...I emailed Steven and thanked him first of all secondly I asked him to send us copies of the finished project!!! I will try to put it on my computer and post it up! We (Drew and I) are beyond blessed by this and are truly blown away that they chose our song to use...We give all glory and honor to God...this song would not exist with out Him putting the words and idea's in our hearts, mouths, and hands!

mmmm...food...

2008-10-11T15:04:00.001-07:00

So my friend Alli and I went to Publix which is the food stored down here....I needed to get some groceries and so did she so we were walking by the meet section cuz I need beef and chicken...I saw lamb chops and got really excited....So I bought them....I cooked us an amazing dinner...I took pictures for all of you to see and be jealous HAHAHA :D

BEAUTY IN A PAN

Lamb Chops, green beans, and mashed potatoes MMMMMM

"HELLO MY NAME IS ALLI"

Me and Alli before we enjoyed our dinner!

Alli couldn't decided which one she wanted...haha

And here is what we got to enjoy :D

"The Foyer"

2008-10-10T16:40:00.000-07:00

This are some pictures from the concert that I played for! I opened up for my good friend Josh Bramos' Band!

(All pictures by one of our friends Amy Horn)

Crazy life this is...

2008-10-09T09:35:00.000-07:00

To be honest its been a little crazy these past few weeks.

I miss home like crazy, family, friends....I love all of you!

I have been driving to Plantation FL pretty much everyday this week. BLAH but its good!

I'm singing on the worship team at Victory Life in Plantation we have practice on Wednesday, plus we play volleyball on Tuesday nights, plus I have to drive out there twice on Sunday...once for Sunday morning service which I only sing at...then the second time for college group that night where I play guitar and sing...CRAZY

I've been leading Woman's Bible study on Thursday nights at Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale for about 200 woman! It's incredible the way they worship and love Jesus...truly a blessing for me to be able to share that time with them!

I've had a lot of opportunities with music lately....

1. Saturday I sang the National Anthem at a volleyball tournament called DigNPig there were probably 500-700 people there :) they recorded it and I'm supposed to be getting a copy of it...hopefully I'll be able to post it up here... :D

2. Woman's Bible study...plus this girl Dana called me and she is supposed to do a song at the end of October at Woman's Bible study so I'm helping her with that...just playing guitar and doing some background vocal stuff!

3. Victory Life...I'm singing a lot there...I'm just glad to be plugged in somewhere serving!

4. I'm opening up for my friend Josh Bramos' Band tonight at Victory Life we are doing this thing called "The Foyer" its like a coffee house type atmosphere...So I have that tonight....

God is just so good...its been a rough past week with just wanting to come home and see my family, my friends, my niece who I haven't met yet, I guess I was just a little home sick this week!

It's getting better!

The sun keeps rising and bringing beautiful sunrise's in my life....each new day is a new sunrise :D

LOVE YOU ALL!

I'll be posting some more pictures of stuff that has gone on in the past couple weeks I just dont have time right now!

Pictures

2008-09-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

~Me, Maegan, and Mackenzie~

~Me and Dominique~

~My friend Derek haha~

~Chris and Me~

~Chris's girlfriend (my friend haha) Dana and Me~

~Kristen and Me~

~One of the new OE students Ryan and Me~

~HAHA Nick, Me and Steve~

These are just a few of the 100's of pictures this group has taken :D There are more pictures to come and more video blogs as well..I hope you enjoy them :D :D

My House

2008-09-27T21:19:00.001-07:00

Master Cleanse

2008-09-22T14:46:00.000-07:00

I have decided to do this diet called "Master Cleanse"or better known as the "Lemonade Diet".

Several people in Ocean's Edge the first year, last year and this year have tried this diet.

It's supposed to just clear out your body and pretty much start you over.

You go on it for 10 days some do just 7 days...or some do a little bit more than 10 days.

Im taking this seriously...Not only because I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy for ME...for my future husband...and for the children I want to have. I want to feel good about myself and right now I don't.

I got up at 6 this morning to prepare for the day...making my Lemonade...Then I enjoyed spending 3o mins with my Father in Heaven. It was amazing. Im taking this diet as a chance to also grow closer to God. Its going to get hard in a couple days not eating anything and only drinking water and this lemonade. Im going to have to rely on God to fill me up!

Im so excited! Today its been good not eating anything and just drinking water and this lemonade drink!

Please pray for me..that I will stay strong for the next 10 days...not by my own strength but by God's! I want my body to be pleasing to Him...Healthy and in shape :)

Thanks everyone!

Text me and call me!! :D

new friends..new places...

2008-09-20T12:05:00.000-07:00

God has provided for me so much lately!

1. With a really great job.

2. With new people who love music and love Him so much.

3. With family and friends that believe in me and the dreams I have.

4. With opportunities to lead worship, play the music He has instilled in me, and jam sessions.

Meanwhile....

I am missing family and friends back in Indiana. The times we shared together having parties, bonfires, sleep overs, late night talks, game nights, after church dinners, etc.

I miss the people who really know me.

Not that people here aren't getting to know me but I just miss the I already know you pretty well stage.

Its good....

The being on my own.

Making new friends.

Finding new adventures.

Reaching for things I never thought I could.

God is good.

I am trusting and relying on Him.

Its just hard sometimes!