Hopeless...

For the past few weeks I've been feeling really hopeless...I don't know what it is but I feel like everything I try or touch just ends up ruined... I hate feeling this way but I guess its a part of life and we all go through our ups and downs. I feel like I've been having more downs than ups recently...

It seems as though I tend to reach for things that are unobtainable..haha leave it to me to think I can accomplish, have, or even to just desire these unobtainable things!

I know I cannot do this alone...I know I cannot rest on myself but I have to rest and rely on God...and I know my God is a big God who wants me to desire big things..and wants me to strive for things that I myself will fail at but HE CAN accomplish...but its so hard for me (and I know I'm not alone on this) to trust that God WILL come through...

I have a problem and it seems to be on repeat...and I don't know where the stop button is so I can push it...

I have this sadness/anger inside of me that seems to always be hidden...and I cannot find the root of it to get it out...maybe its just ME that is the problem...maybe I just need to let go of ME and see what happens...but I'm terrified...because what will happen when I let go?

I just want to SCREAM!